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Wednesday, April 14, 2004
today

your mind is shaped by your environment.  the people you're around.  the things you do, listen to, watch, read... all of that stuff shapes who you are. 
Last year i wasn't anything like how i am today.  and tomorrow will be one year to the day that it all changed.  i'm alright with that.  i've grown, lived, i've become something that i'm not ashamed to talk about.  I'm in love with the one thing i should be in love with.  God.  That's all that matters anymore.  The drugs just brought me down.  Wore out that empty hole, made it bigger, left me still wanting something else.  Guys are worthless, right now anyways.  They just drug me down right with them. 
Today I start over.  Tomorrow will be different.  from last year, from next year.  I am a different person, and stronger because of that.  I'm living, and not bad at all. 
The people that I used to hang with aren't in my life anymore.  I have slowly stopped trying to get them back.  I don't need them.  The ones that have stuck around are there for a reason.  The "family" members that still speak to me are the ones that I knew would stick around.  I'm not crushed.  I have had to learn to let go of a lot of things in the past year, and letting go of someone that's just going to drag me down is hard, but so is getting off drugs, and alcohol, and smoking, but I did that.  This is just like one more nasty addiction.  And I'm (not) sorry if i'm talking about you.  Take it personal.  Grow up. 
I'm done now.
 

Posted at 05:12 pm by drak
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Tuesday, September 09, 2003
60403

i've written this a million times
try to remember, try to forget
good times turn to bad ones
friendships turn to ... less than great ones
loving someone returns nothing
lead can be erased
memories cannot
feelings start to fade
stains eventually do too
try not to remember
most of all
try not to forget

Posted at 03:30 pm by drak
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